Memories

I'll move on...

2007-12-21T11:46:00.000+08:00

Yes...its sad. I'm hurt. Very hurt. But i can't blame anyone else but myself, for believing people too easily...for being so naive. I was in a position i didn't know would be so complicated. I do admit and feel, i'm innocent in this situation. Its because of 2 of them. I really have nothing to say.

Why is it that...everytime i give my heart out in one whole, i get them back in pieces?
Why is it that i can never find someone who wouldn't hurt me?

Is it because i'm just too nice?
Is it because i'm just so naive in your eyes?
What have i done to deserve all this?

Its stupid...i know i shouldn't feel this way....but i have hate... deep hate....but yet i know it will only cause me more pain...

I want to move on...i don't want to be so foolish in matters of the heart anymore. Forget it... i don't want anymore of it...

"I thought you were different....it turns out...you're just the same as the rest all of them..."

Day 3....

2007-12-12T22:36:00.000+08:00

Wednesday: Rainy....cold....lonely....

Work is relatively ok...nothing much...but i have finally finished the trials....now its all the reports...and evaluations....

Been listening to this song...Sometimes when we touch....and So close....and everytime i listen....i will just tear....

"Wo zhen de hen xiang ni...zhen de hen xiang ni...."

Maybe its just too late...

2007-12-10T11:49:00.000+08:00

Monday....Day 1....

Too many mistakes have been made...
Too many broken promises...
Too many disappointments...

I was waiting...constantly waiting...waiting patiently...
Hoping that you would grow up sometimes...
Hoping that you would learn to be more understanding...

But...its finally over.... i think this is the breaking point....
I have to make a decision...1 month should be more than enough

"wo xiang shi zhe qu ba ni wang zi...shi zhe he bie ren zai yi qi...dan shi ni zhong shi hai zai wo de xing li...mei yi fen mei yi miao...dan shi...ni mei chi rang wo shi wang de shi hou...wo zhong shi hen xiang mo mo de li kai...."

Wei sem mo...

2007-11-23T09:43:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i don't know if i'm lucky or not...to finally find someone who can really treat me nice...only to be rendered he might not be straight by my family....

I don't know why...i just feel this guilt everytime i see him...its blinding my feelings for him...and i think he felt it too... and god i think he was so disappointed that i didn't trust him at all...i feel very very bad...but i don't know how to comfort him at all...i'm so useless sometimes...and sometimes i hope that he won't like me anymore...even though i start to like him a little...sigh... vexing and frustrating...yet i can't do anything...i think he hates me now...sigh....just can't feel that initial connection that we had built up with so much difficulty...sigh... i feel like an idiot sometimes....but haiz...what can i do...

Zhi nen yi zhi ku....ku dao lei le...cai shui....zhen de hen xing ku...zhen de hen lei...

FRIDAY!

2007-11-15T20:35:00.000+08:00

Yeah! Its gonna FINALLY be Friday....

This week is NOT GOOD AT ALL...
I realised...
1.) Nothing is going right with my work...
2.) I never say the right things...

What i can do?

1.) Do my best...
2.) Shut the hell up...

I must learn to...really be more aware of things EARLIER than it has happened...

Shi Ying...

2007-11-13T20:28:00.000+08:00

"Its all about getting used to..."

Damn tired...damn shag...damn exhausted...this week...although it is passing by fast...its getting more and more tiring everyday...

Have been doing sai kang for the entire week....and i have been thrown a project as well...maiden virgin project...

Nearly got killed by my boss...thankfully its all small things...but the thought that i NEVER seem to be able to do whatever she tells me right...is rather depressing... i don't know if its me or her...

I realised i'm very distracted...and dazed...i think i am so tired...

1 week... i think i will forget you slowly...I've already seen the song on your nick.... i think you have someone you like le...maybe i'm just another substitute...

Why am i always a substitute to you guys....why?!....am i really that worthless to you sometimes?....

You're all the same...all guys are jerks....i'm stupid....so stupid....to always be fooled again and again....

Feelings...

2007-11-12T23:33:00.000+08:00

Back from my trip...i enjoyed it alot...but i still think of you everytime...
I don't know why...but everytime something happens...i would wonder "How i wish you were here..."

I may be a fool....i may have been cheated by you all the time...
How would i know? I won't know...
But...i know...there's no such thing as fairy tale love stories...

I've decided to leave for studies...i've decided to leave you...
This week...is a good time for me to try to forget you slowly...
They say...i shouldn't tell you anything...i think i should...but i just don't know how....

I can't even tell you...

I don't even know how...

"I miss you....a lot...but...i have to give this feelings up...i have to forget you....and avoid you slowly..."

2 more days...

2007-11-05T23:03:00.000+08:00

Going off to HK on Thurs morning... somehow...i want to really relax myself...but knowing...he's not around to tease me...i'm feeling a lil lost...

I didn't take the transport today...coz momo fetched me to work...and ya...i brought my tira to work...and honestly i have evaluated it...i think its quite watery =( Maybe because i didn't add the alcohol in...=(

He accompanied me after work...to get some stuff for my panning...and i embarrassed myself in front of him omg...this is so diu ren xian lian...haiz... hmmm after that he offered to keep my stuff and bring them for me tomorrow...i felt really bad....but i was surprised at the same time...

Hmmm...actually... i really want to talk to him these few days...coz...we will not see or hear each other for 10 days...sometimes...i don't know if its because i am growing used to his presence...that if he's not around something is missing...

Hmmm...although i always ask him to find a substitute...i'm actually quite sad....maybe he'll be really happier if i wasn't around...

I'm afraid...of falling for him....sigh....but i think...i have already did so? I don't know....sigh...

"Hen xiang shuo de mei yi ju hua....dan yao shuo de shi hou....que yi ju ye shuo bu chu...ying wei wo zhi dao....zhe xie dou bu hui shi chang jiu de shi....zhi dao si qu ni de yi tian...man man yao dao le....nan dao ni bu zhi dao....qi shi wo gen ben dou bu shi yi ge hao ren ma?..."

"Ke shi....wo zhen de...hen xiang shuo....wo kai shi...dui ni you gan jue le..."

Ai mei...

2007-11-03T23:13:00.000+08:00

"Hen xiang wo zhe ni de shou....hen xiang dui ni shou....wo xiang ni....wo zhen de hen xiang ni..."

Hmmm...will be going to Hong Kong on Thursday...really looking forward to it. Hmmm...but after that... i won't be seeing little p for 10 days...he'll be leaving on 10th...

Somehow...i start to miss him already...i keep trying to control myself...not to message him...not to wait for him...not to call him...even though i really want to...i guess i'm really falling deeper and deeper....i really don't want to....but....haiz....

I cry every night....sometimes its very bad...sometimes its just a tear....but i will still cry....because...day by day...i'm beginning to lose him....knowing i'm leaving to study....knowing me...i am always like this...so many things i wish i can say and do....but i'm too scared to do so....

"...Zhen de zhen de....hen xiang ni...."

Stupid me...

2007-10-31T21:23:00.000+08:00

Feeling sad now....i don't know why...but yeah...its sounds so pathetic...i really feel sad now...

Reason being...

1.) Leaving Sg for Aussie soon...

Will be away for 2 1/2 years...i will also be there alone.... and i am listless....i don't know how to do household chores, i don't know how to take care of myself well...and...i just distracted easily...but i'm willing to change and be less distracted and be more focus on my goal. I will be getting a first-class upper honours in my family's name. I want to really do well. But i know i have to sacrifice a lot of things during these 2 1/2 years.

2.) Saying goodbye to my really good poly friends...and forum friends...

Its quite a while since i have actually had good friends...and to go to somewhere foreign, though i may have more friends...but nothing beats local friends i guess....i will miss Sgforum outings T_T, i will miss Kw, Fy, St, Apple, Cindy and many more...

3.) Bidding farewell to my job....

Its quite a nice working environment...and i'm lucky to learn so many things from there. But i will definitely miss...lunch times....bus pick-up times...events....and others... I will definitely miss Edward...William....Doreen....and the rest...

4.) Leaving Little P and telling him not to wait for me...

Actually...everytime...he treats me nice...i really feel bad... he's till now...the most dan chun nan hai i have met....i think he if really know what i was in the past....he will never consider being near me...sometimes i feel so filthy....so low....but...haiz....doesn't matter anymore i guess...

Sometimes...i really really really want to just open up to him...and have fun with him everyday at work, on bus...telling stories and stuff...

I really wish i could go watch horror shows with you....though i always say i don't want...
I really wish i could go with you to trekking places....though i may not see that fit...
I really wish i could say ok i don't mind going out with you...though i'm tired and stuff...
I really wish i could say i wanna tell you stories every night...though i always say i don't want...
I really wish i could tell you now that i'm going Aussie to study...and that i won't be here long...but...i keep telling myself no....

I know you will try to make everyday count...if you knew i was going Aussie...

Its all i really wish...nothing more....because i don't want to hurt you...you may think that i'm very selfish...that i didn't tell you anything at all...though we talk everyday...Sometimes...don't you know...everytime you make me smile...i'm actually crying inside...

I keep telling you...i'll be lost one day....you will not be able to find me...nor be near me...don't you know...it's really going to happen...

Though this morning...i say i feel like i'm being fei li...i know... what you are trying to do...sometimes i think you're very cute...because...a big guy like you....is still so innocent when it comes to liking someone...

But...don't you know....liking me...is just gonna be a big burden to you at the end?
Sometimes i wanted to be very mean to you....like totally ignore you....and forget about everything that you have done...because i rather you hate me...then feel sad and hurt because of me...

I can only say i'm sorry.....i really am....i shouldn't have even continued...so that you won't fall deeper into it....

Friday....

2007-10-26T22:58:00.000+08:00

"How many more days...can you still see me...in clothes you feel...looks best on me?"

Honestly... i have no mood to talk or anything. The more i know you...the more i want to know. The more you want to talk to me...the more i want to. I'm scared. I'm scared of this feeling of wanting more. I'm afraid. You're just like the rest. Who only know how to hurt me.

I wanted to say to you very much to stop. But i can't. I don't know why. Don't you know. I'm crying every night. Knowing that i have to let you go one day. Knowing i have to leave one day. I kept telling you to look for someone else. I kept telling you i'll be missing one day. That's because it will happen. You can't go there with me. Because you have much too many things here. You can't find me because i won't let you.

So many times i want it to stop. I wanted to say don't call me. I wanted to stop patting your head. I wanted to stop disturbing you. I wanted to stop buying strepsils for you. I wanted to stop concerning about you. But i just can't....and i'm feeling so awful because i'm such a lie....and fake...yet i can't tell you....anything....

"It has come to a point that i am hurting myself more and more everyday..."

Loose lips....sink ships...

2007-10-23T20:50:00.000+08:00

"I wish i could stop lying to myself....that i don't like you at all...but...."

Was quite shocked that he told me something. I wasn't expecting it. And i didn't know how to react to it. I was happy when i heard it. But that happiness lasted just a second. Because i knew, i won't be here anymore. Whats more, if he learns the truth that... i was the one who planned everything all along...i think he will be so devastated.

I swore that i will not be too friendly with anyone here. But it seems that...i still couldn't do it. Am i really a cruel and mean person for doing all this? Sometimes i wonder, why do i bring sadness to everyone around me....

Was this meant to be my mission in life all along?

"I guess...i really couldn't lie about this....i'm scared....i'm scared that i will eventually fall for you..."

Another Temper Day...

2007-10-18T21:28:00.000+08:00

"Even though the place is the same...its always different somehow..."

Today was yet another temper day...Bumps...but i managed to learn a few more stuff...and moulding and all that...I realised you shouldn't use chocolates with cocoa butter present for making cut chocolates...because it won't harden...it will melt too easily and it will not be stable enough when you "dunk" them into chocolate....(since it already has difficulty with body temp...dunking it will mean suicide...)

Had a very interesting discussion with Shuting da jie...which was LDR...LDR stands for Long Distance Relationship. Right now...she's in one herself...and she starts to feel the pinch... She adviced me not to get into anything before i leave....because it will be the thing that will hold me back in Spore...

Logically....i know that this will be suicidal...that's why....i have to be ruthless to myself now...for 3 years...if not i will not be able to get my Degree in Aussie...Its a small sacrifice...

I have to learn that...if i can't even make a small sacrifice...i'm unable to accomplish the bigger things in life...the price you need to pay....unfortunately...

"I'm always very happy whenever you tell me about yourself...though you sound very childish...i kinda feel happy that we can still talk this much...but don't you know...it won't last?..."

Countdown: 118 Days...

Temper days...

2007-10-17T22:08:00.000+08:00

"I hate the rainy days for a simple reason - I am afraid of the lightning and thunder"

Today was quite a fast day....but even with many things to do...and some things that i should have done...i realised...i hesitated too much...

I was supposed to teach you how to temper...but in the end...because i was too afraid that i will not be teaching things right.... but in the end...i couldn't bring myself to teach you anything...and Edward had to help you out.

That was the first time i felt so helpless though i know i have what it takes to teach you things. Sometimes i wonder why must my pride get the better of me...And every now and then though you kept joking with me...i could see you had a lot of difficulties...

Why didn't you let me help you? When i asked you so many times if you needed it...
And you're still so concerned about whether i am caught in the rain and if i have eaten...when you have worked till so late and haven't eaten...
Why do you have to ask or do things that you dun need to?...
Some times i can't help but keep feeling guilty...that i'm so fake...and not being truthful to you...
that i'm leaving Singapore...that i'm going to Aussie...
But i can't say or do anything...
I can only do it on this blog...
Sigh...

Am i really that nice to you? I sometimes wonder why....is it because of guilt? Or is it because i am like that since a long time ago but i keep hiding it...

I'm never nice...to myself....sigh....when can i...be more truthful to myself....
Sometimes i hope...i will stop being nice to you....at least....i can leave easily....sigh....

Countdown: 120 days...

Countdown: 121 days...

2007-10-16T20:52:00.000+08:00

Have to decide on 3 dates that i will be scheduled to fly off....15th Feb, 22nd Feb and 29th Feb...what's the only common thing about these 3 days? They are Fridays! Because of my love for Fridays...i can't help but place my bet on Friday Lol.

Hmmm....so many things i want to say...but i don't know how to and who i should tell.
Hmmm....I think you won't notice if i'm not around... I think you will hate me for not telling you i'm leaving....

I'm sorry....

"Wo zhen de hen hai pa....hai pa wo xi huan ni...hai pa wo bu nen li kai zhe li...ying wei wo pa wo kai shi dui ni you gan jue..."

Countdown: 121 days...

Cinderella's tears...

2007-10-14T21:56:00.000+08:00

Even though sometimes...you may have everything you want...
Sometimes...heaven likes to fool you...by doing some things you wish it didn't...
Why is it that...when the mind has already decided...the heart just doesn't seem to work in the same frequency?

Maybe it was a mistake to even know you...
I'm afraid...
I'm afraid of getting hurt all over again...
I'm even more afraid of hurting you...
I know that i'm cruel...for not telling the truth...
But i'm sorry...
I really am...
Please...don't fall for me...
I will not know...how and what to do...

But...thank you for everything...
Thank you for being nice to me...
Thank you for letting me believe that there's still warmth around...
Thank you for letting me know...there's still friendship...
Thank you for letting me know you...

5 more months...and you will not be able to see me anymore...
Did you know that?
Yet...you still think...that i will be there much longer...
There are many times...
I wanted to go over...
When i was really bored...
When i was really stressed...
But...i just don't want to...
I don't want to be reliant of you...
I don't want to think of you...
I don't wish to be a part of anything...

Telling you stories...was just something i could do to ease the guilt...
You once said...you are afraid you might get addicted to it...
But don't you know...its all a dream, a lie?
Sometimes...i don't know...if i should believe you...if i should trust every word you said...
I have been hurt numerous times...until its so numbing...until i could just give up everything...

Your words...though most of the time...you're sarcastic...and demanding...
I somehow...liked to hear them...not that am crazy but...
Its been a long while...since i last felt this way...
I will be gone for 3 years...you won't know...until i say it...
I could have told you earlier...
But...i didn't want to...
I don't want you to keep me...
I don't want you to make me stay...
I don't want anything...

Sometimes i wonder...
Why do i destroy everything i love or hold dear?
Why am i so ruthless and cruel to everything around me?
But the most importantly...
Why am i so cruel to myself?

Perhaps i have just been fighting a lonely battle all along...

Confessions are often not my forte....
Needless to say...i think i'm not even close to your type?
Haha...what am i thinking...i'm not pretty...not altheletic enough...not the girl next door...
I'm just another soul on this planet...
After fulfilling my purpose...i will just leave quietly...

No one will know or remember my existence...
What i held dear to me...what i loved...
With your personality and looks...
You will be much better off with another girl right?
You will be able to find a much better story-teller...
A person who will not disturb you by calling you jie jie...but calling you ge ge instead?
A person who would ask you how are you if you're not feeling well?
A person who will buy you strepsils when you're having sorethroat...
A person who will let you bully...
A person who will let you walk to your area when she's stressed or too busy...
A person who will let you call or sms when you feel qing bu zhi jing...
A person who will let you disturb...
A person who will let you tease if she is scared...
A person...who will most likely be other than me...

I have a lonely journey ahead of me...
I don't intend to share it with anybody...
I don't intend to be distracted by it either...
All i can say is....i'm sorry...

Finally...its back on track...

2007-10-13T09:18:00.000+08:00

Thankfully, i managed to find my blog and retrieve it. I have a tendency to "chuck-things-at-one-corner-and-forget-its-existence" kind of attitude. Which is quite bad if you ask me. And being the owner of just a few accounts...i can't see why i can forget...serious STM...

Watched Resident Evil: Extinction yesterday with the gang and yes this show is not a thriller no more....no no...its like a horror flick with ultra bad zombie make-up and elevated sound effects you wish it would not be used....yes and i realised that throughout the movie i just kept covering my ears and squinting my eyes...this is definitely not "chi hui piao jia"....

Went for supper @ Phins, but realised that we "excluding ethan and alan" can't eat much so we settled for soups and desserts while we see them ravaging on meat...(just like the zombies, i can't imagine how they can still have the appetite to eat after that movie =/).

Then we went to walk around and noticed a pool area, although it was like 11+ there's still people there playing. Throughout the night i think Ah ma and ah gong were quite tired haha...i was dozing off occasionally too...man...this is horrible...seems like work has really altered my sleeping patterns COMPLETELY....=/ well well sacrifices sacrifices...

Now i need to get more sleep...but i can't...sigh...T_T

Interview

2007-05-01T00:04:00.000+08:00

Well i will be having an interview on Wed 9am.
Wish me luck.
And shit i haven't been reading up on the pracs. Now i'm soooo rusty...

Haha...and ya i haven't receive my uni letter.
I just hope it comes soon. At least there must be an answer.
And yeah i really miss everyone...stupid qili keep disturbing me...kns!!!!

Anxiety.

2007-04-30T01:17:00.000+08:00

Oh the day of reckoning stage 1 will be here soon. Will be giving a call to the HR for Fuhua Bird's Nest Company. I hope that i will get the job...Because i need moolah...

Well Uni will be next year. Will learn from my mistake and apply for SMU as well. If not i will be wasting yet another year. Haven't receive any replies. But i am quite prepared for whatever outcome. Just hoping for the best. Praying.

No matter where you are, or what you do, you're always there in my heart.
I tried forgetting you, but i know its useless, because you are more than anything i ever wanted.
Though we cannot be together, i know for sure, i didn't regret knowing you.
Thank you even though we haven't been talking, even though we haven't been meeting up.
I just wish you well. And i hope that she will be with you till you're old and grey.
As an old friend, that's the last thing i would want you to have.
As your sister, that's the only thing i hope you keep. That is happiness.

Reasons

2007-04-28T00:44:00.000+08:00

The sun is down,
its night again.
And i'm where,
it all began.

You told me love,
was meant for me.
And that you wish,
thats what i see.

And time and time,
i went to bed.
Thinking of,
the dreams we had.

You said goodbye,
everytime.
I said so long,
doesn't feel right.

20 now we are,
and yet even still.
I wish you're here,
but you're so far.

I love you so,
you should've known.
Why did you go,
and left me so.

I turned back,
and there you were.
But its too late now,
You damn were.

So now we stand,
side by side.
But i'm not yours,
i never was.

So you said,
"I love you still".
But it was late,
with the gates.

I wish i had,
the reasons then.
But you were late,
to be my mate.

I loved you so,
i always have.
No matter what,
no matter where.

All i can do...

2007-04-21T01:08:00.000+08:00

I just got home. And i received a bad news. Aunt Doris fainted at work and is currently admitted to the hospital. It didn't hit me when my mum told me about it. It hit me fucking hard when i asked my cousin how she was.

He's still able to smile and tell me she's feeling better. For once... i finally realised...how strong they are...Allan kor and Danny kor...and most importantly Uncle Roland...i can't help but cry and pray that i could at least take away that pain and suffering that she's going through....she's like another mother to me...always pampering me with gifts....and looking after me when i was young...her cheerful and happy outside was her one and only trademark....

The fact that she had so many treatments.....and having more added sessions....her condition doesn't seem good...i just want her to get well....i want her to be ok....i just don't want to see her so tortured by this fucking disease....why did this fucking disease have to happen to her....why?...she's one of the nicest and carefree person i know....tell me why?...

Fuck cancer....fuck it man....i hate being so helpless....i hate not being able to protect someone...

Mum wants to pray at Guanyin temple tomorrow...i have to go....that's the least i can do as a daughter....and a god-daughter to Aunt Doris....if there is a God....i hope that you will protect Aunt Doris...and help her get well...and enjoy her remaining days happy....thats what...i only pray and hope for.....

Lonely nights...

2007-04-12T22:08:00.000+08:00

Some nights... i think about you...
Thinking about what i would say to you...
Thinking about what i hope you would tell me...
I still think about you...
I'm leaving you behind soon...
Do you know that?
I guess you will never know...
Goodbye...

I don't know why i'm feeling this way...

2007-04-01T23:00:00.000+08:00

My stomach has been giving me some probs. I have this straineous pain when u sit. And it only happens at the left side of my stomach is killing me. It has this sharp pain once a while and it hurts. I tried to figure out with it was. I hope that i don't have the sharp pain for the next few days. Hopefully i hope its not something serious and bad. Then again i hope maybe i should be dead earlier. Thinking of what to do everyday sucks. Will be visiting the doctor tmr.... i think he will ask me to go xray...i hope i dun need to...tmd...

Ringing ringing.

2007-03-28T02:34:00.000+08:00

Well it's another day again. And i have yet to receive news for my supposedly confirmed temp job offer from Mrs Ngan. I hope i don't get another flight to nowhere. Makes you feel like a sucker. Today was quite a fruitful day considering the fact that i had a chance to brush up on my pool skills. Managed to tackle some troublesome errors thanks to my brother who coached me. He's quite a pro player in pool, even though he looks as though he doesn't, don't play play. April is a month to look forward to because of more pool sessions with THE PRO. Addy kiu kiu =D.

And then we went to Alif for supper. And we talked about the year 2 syllabus for Food Tech students. Seriously i don't really remember how i got through year 2. Year 2 was hell. I didn't really like year 2. Not as much as year one. Year 3 was fun. Because it was the last year. Because it was the last year of defiance. Actually i'm happy to have such a nice and lame brother. It's so different i think if i have a younger sister. Probably we'll just end up killing each other every night.

And i realised that someday, someway i will get over you. Though i still hold on to you. It's kinda funny though i am missing you less and less. It's weird how word spreads over small issues. Actually, love is just so overated. I don't really understand what's the big fuss.

And come to think of it, i haven't watched my Mirror Mask. Maybe i should get The History Boys first. Haha...and then be another living couch potato (which i am currently).

It beats being a ~~Lazy dumb ass.~~ very easily bored daughter.

I wished you smiled...

2007-03-26T13:35:00.000+08:00

Several lonely nights,
after days and days of fights.
I've got all this in me,
i wish you could have seen.

Then you told me
this is how it ends,
being just friends.

You turned your back,
and walked away,
i wished you smiled,
i wished you well.

But that's all just history,
because i have a new story.
It's here and being crystal clear.
I wished you smiled,
I wished you well.

And then comes another year,
we met coincidently.
She was by your side,
but you seemed cold.
I wished you smiled.
I wished you well.

26 we turned,
i was on the altar,
exchanging those vows.
You seemed normal,
I wasn't.
I wished you smiled.
I wished you well.

Came by golden 40s,
you had several kids.
A boy and a girl.
We met and watched them play.
You seemed sad.
I wished you smiled.
I wished you well.

50 was the end,
i lay on my bed.
You came by,
you finally cried.
I wished you smiled.
I wished you well.

I'm sorry.
You said.
For only being friends.
For only being by your side.
You teared why i said goodbye.
I wished you smiled.
I wished you well.

You'll sit alone forever.

2007-03-26T01:19:00.000+08:00

Mirror mask. One of the few VCDs that i have bought recently. I think there will be more to come. Next on the list:

1.) History Boys
2.) Pan's Labyrinth

Apparently the list isn't very long.

New template...new post...

2007-03-25T01:42:00.000+08:00

Sorry for being soooooooooooooo absent from this blog for a long time. Ok...updates updates. I have been graduated from SP. Grades this semester is really very good and i am happy about it. FYP was awarded an A. Woohoo! Really gotta thank all my group mates, Yeany and Qili and Dr Tay for making this grade possible. Also thankful for Mrs Ngan for getting me a job, well hopefully i get confirmed for it if not i'm going to be rotting my ass off the holidays.

On a lighter note, been out with my cousins and friends recently. Am also currently waiting for Uni entry. Really hoping that i can get into NUS or NTU and work towards my goals. Recently has been a rollercoaster ride of movies, outings and musings. Going to have a food tour soon too organised by my Food guru friend cum expert KC! Now i just need to rope in Qili =/ haha....

Well, this year has been an eventful start, so many things have happened and i seem to be still at the start of it. Still blur as always. Lack of sleep is taking its toll and my sleeping time is now 3am to 3pm DAILY. This sucks.

I have been having movie marathons recently. From horror to more horror to even more horror. Stupid aranburu -.- always all the ghost shows and making me scared while at it...*tiu~

Just came back from a movie outing with jie mei. Hope he's feeling better =)

Exhaustion

2007-02-04T01:15:00.000+08:00

Lack of sleep,
injection,
notes that pile to the floor,
and a sleepy mind...

The perfect equation for exhaustion...

Grateful

2007-01-31T22:05:00.000+08:00

Perhaps the only person i am really truly grateful to is you =) Thanks for everything...and jia you for the exams...i will find some Belldandy figurines for you hahahaha....

"Xi guan, zhe shi yi zhong xi guan. Xi guan mei you ni de ri zi...xi guan hui qu wo yuan ben de shen huo...zhe dou shi xi guan..."

Blinded

2007-01-30T23:36:00.000+08:00

I don't know how some people can see this problem of mine as a joke or as just another problem...ya...to you people...you may think...its just another problem and all...and that you have all been through worse...

Maybe i have been looking things at another approach...now i know who are wise enough to handle this situation...and i know...its none of those who claim they know or understand...drop the pretence...

Maybe it's time i just get out of here while i still can...

Either way...just so disappointed with the these people....i can't even describe this feeling...let's just say... shocking...

Emo shit...

2007-01-30T01:20:00.000+08:00

Ruo guo ni nen kan de jian....ruo guo ni nen ting de jian....ruo guo ni nen zai wo sen bian...

Hao xian mu bie ren de tian chang di jiu...hao xian mu bie ren de cheng jing yong you...

Zhi nen yong yuan fang zai xing li...zhi nen yong yuan ji de ni...

Xiang hui dao ni shen bian...ke shi dao na shi...ni hui you ge ren zai ni shen bian ma?

Ni hui bu hui ji de wor?

Zhi nen xian mu...zhi nen mai yuan...zhi nen yong yuan shuo... xi wang ni yong yuan kuai le...

Qing ni fang kai wo....ying wei wo hui wang ji ni....

The second time....for now...

2007-01-28T19:23:00.000+08:00

I always thought, this happens only in drama serials. Not when it just hits us straight in the face...like smack! Welcome to reality!

It's like only the 2nd session....and even though it's stage one....it doesn't seem to be that good either. From loss of taste, to water retention. And yet...there's just nothing we can do. But just pray for her recovery. This new year...will be a rather quiet one. Mahjong sessions are going to be carried out...but whether or not....it will be going as planned is yet another thing all together. I just hope she gets well soon. Most likely...there will be lots of time after exams to visit her. Since she stays and work at Dover. Either way....thinking about all the silly things and care taking that she has given me...this should be my turn to return this favour.

Get well soon Doris Mummy....=) i will deliver you the Green Bean and Red Bean soups as promised.... and let's play mahjong when you get well =)

Aja Aja Fighting

2007-01-25T11:38:00.000+08:00

Ok....let's see....Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun... Mon....6-8pm....ok....about 4 and a 1/2 days left to first paper....hmmm...sort of tired...waiting so long for paper is torturous....even though we have more time to study....=/ But...i will come to past soon hehe...aja aja!

This post is for everyone out there who is going to have their exams next week, or in the midst of the exams....=) Aja basha! Jia you all.... and don't give up....just remember....this is gonna be the last time to do really well =)

And...i heard from fy...that... this set of results can also be used for entry requirement....because we are the first batch to have the results released in Feb or March...which is quite early... =)

So jia you!... I am need of the fighting jia you spirit too ya? =) hehehe....toodles~

Argh....

2007-01-24T23:52:00.000+08:00

Someone tell me...
Why we need to find the value of sludge??
Why we need to draw tie-lines??
Why we need to find E1, E2, E3, E4....etc..??
Why we need to find N1, N2, N3...??

t_t

But...NTH is a really nice teacher....i managed to understand....somehow =/

Smile

2007-01-22T17:47:00.000+08:00

I got all this from a book....kinda interesting...so i've decided to quote some....well...that is if i can remember most of them? =) Ok... i am going to study PQM soon ok.... haha....

Sometimes in life, we can't be whatever we want, have whatever we want, or do whatever we want. We are in a way restricted to things such as morals, attitudes, laws and statures. But no matter what... we cannot somehow be all things perfect.

We should always know...we don't always have to hate or love everything around us....sometimes...its ok not to. We can always forgive ourselves and don't have to try so hard. Isn't that how life is? We tend to neglect the littlest of things...and forget the happiest moments.

Life isn't made to keep as sorrowful and disheartened with obstacles. It's made for us to smile. So, smile =)

To everyone who's having exams, all the best and remember this is the final leg for us (Year 3) peeps, and for others...well maybe another beginning haha...but...still...don't give up...there's always a reason to smile...even when we face adversities. Life is wonderful. It's beautiful. It's happy and cheerful, if we know where to look for them.

Toogajee Mal / Jeong Jae Wook (ft. The One)

2007-01-21T14:02:00.000+08:00

Toogajee Mal / Jeong Jae Wook (ft. The One)
romanization by: Shelly -yunsuklove*- (also credit: aheeyah.com)

sarangee jool mollasseo salmyeoshee naeryeoanja
keunare haetsareul talmeu meesoro
keureok'e tagaon neoeende

sarangeelgeoya haesseo kamanhee seumyeodeureo-on
eoneunal talbeecheul tameun nooneuro
keureok'e ooseodoon neoraneun keol

I say nan algo sheep'eunde
neol pomyeon mamee teollyeo-oneun nareul
aesseodo wemyeonghaedo aneerago haedo
Im so in love with you
kyeolgoogen neoeende

nan kajeelsoo eopneunde
neol pomyeon mamee ap'aoneun nareul
jeeweobeoreeryeo haedo modoo ta eejeodo
nama eettneun mareen keol kyeogoogen nan aneende

eejeseoya arasseo eoneusae neol talma eettneun
neol pomyeo meesoreul jeetneun nae moseup
promise you eejeneun poyeojoolge

I say nan algo sheep'eunde
neol pomyeon mamee teollyeo-oneun nareul
aesseodo wemyeonghaedo aneerago haedo
Im so in love with you

nan kajeelsoo eopneunde
neol pomyeon mamee ap'aoneun nareul
jeeweobeoreeryeo haedo modoo ta eejeodo
nama eettneun mareen keol kyeogoogen nan aneende

smile again maneunge pyeonhagettjeeman
nae moseupdo oraedon chooeokdo yeh babe
smile again heemgyeo-oon jeenannal
neomaneul weehan joonbeeran keol nocheel soo eopseo

jebal nal pwajool soo eettnee
eereok'e ne twee-eseo eettneun nareul (nae twee-e eettneunnal)
ap'ado ootgo eettneun seulp'eodo meesojeetneun
Im so in love with you na yeogee eettneunde

eejen neo teureul soo eettnee
josheemseure kkeonaeboneun eemareul
aesseodo wemyeonhaedo aneerago haedo
honja twenae-eeneun eemal nae kyeot'e eesseojweo stay-

All the crazy things....

2007-01-20T13:29:00.000+08:00

I will miss all the rushing events,
i will miss all the stupid customers,
i will miss the advent regulars,
i will miss the witty conversations,
i will miss the dirty jokes,
i will miss the active staff,
i will miss all the suniyandis,
i will miss the helpful Roger,
i will miss the wonderful place,
i will miss the funny songs,
i will miss the hip songs,
i will miss the jazz songs,
i will miss the great wines,
i will miss my favourite shiraz,
i will miss my Whiskeys,
i will miss my ports,
i will miss my Becks,
i will miss my friends,
i will miss my colleagues,
i will miss my mummy,
i will miss the stupid crazy stuff,
i will miss all of Ninth Vine...

Hao Peng You

2007-01-10T20:17:00.000+08:00

Time flies....soon...exams are on the way....and i realised....i haven't made any resolutions...rather i hope that they come true....all of them...sounds greedy eh? Nah....i figured it's possible. =) Top priority is knowing Daddy =).

And the list goes on...:

1.) Recovery of my relatives
2.) Exams
3.) University / TUM application and enrolment
4.) Iphone (only available in 2008 =/)
5.) Part-time job offered by Dr Tay Hong Soon (this i gotta check, gotta do with noodle formulation)
6.) Trip before i start work/study =/

But last but not least....i really wanna do something big before leaving SP...as in before the saying goodbye to all the Year 3 friends of mine...but i haven't figured out what it is...=/ oh well....

Go see this http://www.fractalcow.com/rex/high.html .... it's so funny stuff...haha.... i can't help but ROFL....=p

Life is short

2007-01-08T19:28:00.000+08:00

So many things have happened during this past few months... sometimes...i feel...so frustrated....because...why must all these unnecessary things affect their lives.....worst of all...hurt the hearts of all the loved ones....i really pray for their recovery....and healing....and the healing of the hearts of theirs...just feeling so sad...i can't even cry....haiz....

Chocolates

2007-01-06T15:06:00.000+08:00

Time flies. Just the other day, after project discussion, while we were looking for OGC, met Miss Toh and we started asking about the advance diploma and BSc in Food Technology. While touching on results, which doesn't seem rather promising, we talked about overseas education. University of Purdue in US, University of Melbourne and what nots. Courses and career talks were also at its midst, together with SPinnovex. Looking back at those little kids coming in, ya i was one of them once, and now looking at myself in the year 3 shoes, time has definitely slipped away too fast.

Saw Qx, Qw and JL at SPinnovex, as well as Aaron, and Jean and Linnet. Then again i was wondering, it's really just too fast. After which, long long break, then study, then work, then what else. I wanna travel all around the world =) Haha....after which....well...who knows? So...i wanna do really well.....i've been playing too much already....=) hahaha....

Everywhere

2007-01-04T01:05:00.000+08:00

Turn it inside out so I can see
The part of you that's drifting over me
And when I wake you're never there
But when I sleep you're everywhere
You're everywhere

Just tell me how I got this far
Just tell me why you're here and who you are
'Cause every time I look
you're never there
And every time I sleep
you're always there

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
that makes me believe
I'm not alone
I'm not alone

I recognize the way you make me feel
It's hard to think that
you might not be real
I sense it now, the water's getting deep
I try to wash the pain away from me
Away from me

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
that makes me believe
I'm not alone
I'm not alone

I am not alone
Whoa, oh, oooh, oh

And when I touch your hand
It's then I understand
The beauty that's within
It's now that we begin
You always light my way
I hope there never comes a day
No matter where I go
I always feel you so

'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I close my eyes it's you I see
You're everything I know
that makes me believe
I'm not alone
'Cause you're everywhere to me
And when I catch my breath
it's you I breathe
You're everything I know
that makes me believe
I'm not alone

You're in everyone I see
So tell me
Do you see me?

Anticipation

2006-12-30T21:40:00.000+08:00

Time flies, after exams and graduation...perhaps i will be gone for a good whole half month...till then...Happy New Year to all, may this wonder 2007 bring more love, blessings and joy to all =)

A song for the sun

2006-12-27T23:08:00.000+08:00

Her story

The streets were filled with songs of joy and laughter, storekeepers writing the "Today's specials" on their old and dusty chalkboards. A busy and rustling market with rowdy crowds and children of all ages. Daily provisions or so i thought.

"This bread looks fresh and it smells great!", I exclaimed.
"Let's get this one then?", he smiled.
"Sure, why not!", as i passed the payment to the baker's daughter.

Walking past the other shops, there are just more and more things that caught my attention. Like how pretty the jewellery were, how exquisite the tea cups were, how fresh the fruits look, how tasty the deep fried pancakes were.

"Aren't you a greedy and mischievious one!", he teased as he messed up my hair.
"Hey! Isn't that part of you too?", i replied as we were walking home.

Our home wasn't big and filled with furniture. We have just moved in, a week ago. With many things left unpacked and unarranged. As we opened the door and entered the living room, the rays of sunlight beamed on the floor, revealing it's wooden features. The renovations of the house have been completed.

"Let's go look around shall we?", as i pulled his hand excitedly and rushed through the various parts of the house, he couldn't help but followed. The living room was pretty unfurnished in fact, most of the rooms were.

"We will make this like our own, shall we?", he asked hoping to get my definite reply.
"Sure we will, after all, aren't we going to do just that?".

Three months went past just like that. I was an artist working for a foreign company who have invested in works from the various places. He was a businessman, sometimes a part-time musician, sometimes a part-time handyman. Our lives revolve around the days of the week being hardly at home and only together on weekends. No matter, we lived happily, and life was relatively almost the same.

On the fifth month of our stay at this home, i came across a very strange letter addressed to him. He has been on a business trip for more than a month, and will only be back the following day. As i investigated the letter, i noticed how beautifully written the words are and how neat the pasting and glueing of the letter. Knowing that it was the wrong thing to do, i opened up the letter, only to discover something shocking.

"It's been a long time hasn't it? I haven't forgotten you all these while. Please come back to me. I know that you still loved me. You know that you don't love her at all, i'm right here for you.

Love Priscellia"

As the letter hit the floor with a soft tud, the next thing i remembered was falling on the ground and waking up in bed, and him sleeping by my side. While i awoke, i couldn't help, but feel that his heart did not belong to me. He woke up a while later.

"You're awake, i was so worried about you", he said as he held my hand.
"I have read her letter to you, i won't keep you here with me, if your heart still longs for her so much", i said as i looked at him.

I left the bed and started packing up my things. He held my hand and tried to explain. But all i did was packed all my belongings and left for my business trip that i had been pondering if i should go.

"From now on, we shall go our separate ways, i hope that you will find your happiness", i said as i left the home that we have lived.

===================================================================

His story

And all i could do was watch her leave. Knowing that i have no more feelings for Priscellia. I found it hard to grab her hand and asked her not to leave thanks to my pride. A year had past since we have parted, i still miss her so much.

===================================================================

The autumn was beautiful in New York. A painting of the New York city park was just completed. I sipped my coffee and admired the beautiful scenary.

"It's a very lovely painting", a familiar voice said. I turned only to realise that it was just a passer by.
"Thanks for the compliment", i replied as i was packing my things.
"You will be blessed today, on Christmas eve this year, trust me. The thing that you have lost, it will come back for you", the man said.
"Oh ok, i will keep that in mind", i replied and left.

While i was on my way to my apartment, it started to snow. It was lovely and beautiful sight and it made me take out my camera to snap the view of the trees, roads and cars being covered by the soft and gentle snow. While i opened the door to my apartment, i noticed a person sitting on the steps of the staircase just next to my apartment.

"I've been waiting for you for a long time", he said as he stood up and embraced me. He came to New York for find me.
"I've never forgotten about you, all these while, everything about you. I have searched for you since the day you left, only to hear word of your appearance but never of your person", he said as he held tighter.
"I love you, please come back", he said as his tears rolled down his cheeks, and the snow poured down, outside the window....

Merry Xmas

2006-12-25T00:54:00.000+08:00

Last year on the 22nd of Dec,
an old acqquaintance approached me,
and on this very night last year,
it was the first time we were together.

This year on the 22nd,
it seemed like there was a repetition.

The season of giving and sharing is here again.
Today we celebrate the birth of the King,
the holy son, Jesus.

Our love and saviour, our precious father.
I am happy to be blessed by his grace having so many wonderful family members and friends around me... thank you for everything...

And for all the things that have happened, i know that my answer will come...it may seem delayed, but it will definitely be on time. =)

Thank you for being there when i was so down, so lost, so sad.
Thank you for cheering me up and telling me what nots in the middle of nowhere sometimes.
Thank you for being there to teach me the different things in life.
Thank you for being there for me. =)

I miss the happy you...

2006-12-21T11:17:00.000+08:00

Was sleeping soundly...when i have this weird dream of you...
You seem happy in the dream...i really hoped you were even till now...
But it made me wanna find out how you REALLY were...
Only to find out that you are actually not doing so good...
I miss the days you smile so silly and didn't care about others...
I miss the days you insult people and know that it does sounds funny...
I miss the happy you...so come back home to yourself will ya? =)

Which card are you?

2006-12-04T20:29:00.000+08:00

http://www.flarn.com/~warlock/tarot/ Go try this?

This is mine by the way:

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents, beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

Loved with all of grace

2006-11-26T22:09:00.000+08:00

Thank you for everything....=)

"Always holding my hand...protecting me from everything..."

-.Pre-Fyp (part 1).-

2006-11-18T01:57:00.000+08:00

Initially, Fyp was a supposedly interesting and self-experiencing journey, which we all thought would be pretty easy and quick. But...things never always go the way we plan or expected. So ya...fyp was a long journey for groups of 3.

At the very beginning, we formed our groups even before the Fyp started. Oblivious to the future plans of Fyp, we grouped up and were ready for the bidding process of Fyp on one faithful day. We bid for a project by Dr Tay Hong Soon, with regards to SP's 2-ply noodles. Ok...so initially...our group consisted of Qili, Yeany and yours truly. So...at the beginning...we were like...so "leng leng"... never do much....once a while come do flavour and all that...then... we realised that we were quite behind time....but nonetheless....we still completed the flavour choices.

In between...we had many problems...like texture....colour...taste....flavour...and the list just goes on....but we kept telling ourselves...we can make it...won't die so easily de....and we struggled....jiayou...and along the way....all 3 of us...became much closer....so much so....we can joke so much and say all the lamest things in the world...you can't imagine how lame yeany can be...how dodo qili is...and how blur i am.....

Quoted from qili's nick..."may not be the best fyp....but interesting group...", this is what i thought so too...the flesh and blood of the fyp...is not the project itself...but the people who made it happen....through fyp...we laugh...cry...eat...sleep...shit together....at the end of the day...we are proud not only of the project....but with ourselves...

Fyp's deadline is drawing nearer and nearer....22nd is the handing in of report....29th is presentation....seems so fast...and yet...kinda sad....cause...we won't ping through the late nights together anymore...we won't laugh and cry at each other's mistakes..

Handing back of the keys made me realise that reality is really happening...fyp is ending soon....today we had a pre-celebration...qili ordered pizza and our group + dajie shuting and duncan came by to eat with us...noodle centre left us all a lot of memories...kinda miss all the fun times there....and the irritating in charge who scolds us for nothing...crazy bitch....

This is the first part entry of fyp...will have more to come =)...this is the special fyp edition hehee =)

-.Reality and Fantasy.-

2006-11-15T22:59:00.000+08:00

Oooo....kk...life is ok...tiring coz' of work....happy coz' of grades....sad coz' of Big Dee going to Qatar for a week =/....sian coz' of fyp....bored coz' there's no life....hopeful coz' of Holidays....

"Stop appearing in my dreams for once and start appearing in front of me? I am so sick of seeing you in my dreams....if you can find me in my dreams...can you find me in reality for once? hahaha =/....but you are REALLLY CUTE ^^"

-.Always.-

2006-11-06T23:44:00.000+08:00

Son eul nae mil myeon eun hang sang dah eul geo ri itt neun neo

Geu son noh ch’il kka bwa teo him ju eo chab a bo neun na

U neun mo seub I teo meos itt eo po in da myeon seo

Keo ji mal do gi bun joh ke ta ga o go

Haes sar I ga deuk hi a ch’im eur al li ki jeon e

Nae ge jeon hwal geol eo che il meon jeo na reul kkae u myeo

Eo je kkum sog e neo reul wae geu ri nol lyeo daett nya go

Chae jal dae neun ni mal nan hang sang us eum jis gon hae

I swear my love for you and forever

Chi ch’yeo man ga deon nae ha ru eui neo ran sa rang eun

Sa rang I ni kka nae gen sa rang I ni kka

A jik kka chi han beon do geu heun han mal mot han I reon na ji man

Ik suk ha ji anh eun I reon haeng bok deul i

Ga kkeum neo mu pur an hae jyeo mo deun ge kkum il geot gal a

Gwaen hi neo eui I reum eul heun ja seo pul leo bol ttae myeon

Haeng bok han nun mur eun a ma do sa rang il keo ya

I swear my love for you and forever

Chi ch’yeo man ga deon nae ha ru eui neo ran sa rang eun

Sa rang I ni kka nae gen sa rang I ni kka

A jik kka chi han beon do geu heun han mal mot han I reon na ji man

Meon heus nal nu gun ga ga sa neun tong an e

Jel jal han ge mweo nya go mur eo bon da myeon

Na mar eul hal geo ya

Neol sa rang han geo ra go

I swear my love for you and forever

O raet tong an na a kkyeo att deon geu mal han ma di

Sa rang hal geo ya ma ji mwa sa rang I ni kka

O neul tta ra neo e ge ga go itt neun nae ga haeng bok hae po yeo

-.MOS + Lin's Bday.-

2006-10-28T21:09:00.000+08:00

Well well what do you know...today's Saturday...as usual i will be seeking refuge at Twelve with mummy no. 2 haha...Lin and gang are all going down to MOS tonight...SOBX! i'm tied between commitments and enjoyment...oh well...i got way too many things to do either way...SOBX! Sigh...

It's Honey Lin's Bday come 12pm! Happy Birthday Honey Lin! 19 liao wor...haha...this year's bday celebration isn't as happening as the last right? haha...either way will be meeting this missy on Monday...giving her a big fat kiss! Hahaha...

Now i'm listening to Phantom of the Opera's soundtrack...nice nice =p haha...at the same time was using my old phone...and...saw some messages i shouldn't have...i didn't know he sent me those msgs...sianz...LOW...looks like i won't receive such messages again...sigh...

Either way...mummy no. 2 wanna bring me to Muddy Murphy's on 11th Nov...and at the same time...meet her forum friends...o.O you must be thinking i so good life right...of course la...i got such a nice mummy no. 2 hahaha...betcha all so jealous now....burgers and beer man...whoopee doo!

"Alcohol does drown those sorrows...should i get one more BECKS?"

-.Every Heart.-

2006-10-28T16:51:00.000+08:00

BoA - Every Heart (English Version)

Tell me babe, how many do I shed my tears?
Every HeartEvery Heart is not a gentle yet

Shall I do?I can never say my loneliness
Every Heart doesn't know so what to say oh what to do

I was afraid of darkness cause I felt that I was left alone
So I prayed for help to the distant million stars

Round & round the planets revolve round the sun
And we always seek after love and peace forever more
Growing growing woe baby we can work it out
Look up at the sky every heart is shining all today

Show me now, What kind of smile do I come across
Every heart every heart can take a step towards the dreams

All of us what to take a lasting happiness
Whenever you feel sad, I wanna hold you
& give you a sound sleep

Someday every hearts gonna free and easy
We have peace of mind
Someday all the people find the way to love

Goes & goes the time goes on we are not alone
We live on together and we will find some precious things
Sometime we will smile sometime we will cry somehow
Don't forget believing yourself - Tomorrow's never die

There is the warm heart places on my mind
In my earlist day's there and it's so sweet
There are many stars they have talk with me so kind
They say yes always time's friend of mine so shine

Round & Round the planets revolve round the sun
And we always week after love and peace forever more
Growing growing woe baby we can work it out
Look at the sky every heart is shining all today

Goes & goes the time goes on we are not alone
We live on together and we will find some precious things
Sometime we well smile sometime we will cry somehow
Don't forget believing yourself - Tomorrow's never die

BoA - Every Heart - Minna No Kimochi (Japanese Version)

Ikutsu namida o nagashitara
Every Heart sunao ni nareru darou
Dare ni omoi o tsutaetara
Every Heart kokoro mitasareru no darou

Nagai nagai yoru ni obiete ita
Tooi hoshi ni inotteta

Meguru meguru toki no naka de
Bokutachi wa ai o sagashite iru
Tsuyoku tsuyoku naritai kara
Kyou mo takai sora miagete iru

Donna egao ni deaetara
Every Heart yume ni fumidaseru no
Hito wa kanashimi no mukou ni
Every Heart shiawase ukabete nemuru

Itsuka itsuka subete no tamashii ga
Yasuraka ni nareru you ni

Meguru meguru toki no naka de
Bokutachi wa ikite nanika o shiru
Toki ni warai sukoshi naite
Kyou mo mata arukitsuzukete yuku

Osanai kioku no katasumi ni
Atataka na basho ga aru so sweeet
Hoshitachi ga hanasu mirai wa
Itsumo kagayaite ita so shine

I personally think....the jap one sounds better =/ LOl...haha nice song by the way....

-.I'm a Big Babo.-

2006-10-28T13:16:00.000+08:00

Been thinking a lot this few days....wondering if whatever i did was worth it...logically speaking...it definitely isn't...and there's nothing that can be used to explain why i did those things. It's morally acceptable...but to me it's a terrible disappointment. Yet there's nothing i can do about it.

Days when i felt i lost sleep, appetite and whatever over it. It's a horribly terrible feeling. It's so tormenting. Yet i can't do anything. If only i could choose not to take this path...but seems like it's too late...because i unconsciously took it. By chance, maybe that's the price i had to pay.

Life is so short, yet why am i still so vexed over it...haiz....i'm really such a fool...yet why do i still do so much....

"2 people were looking at a blank painting...

person A: I think this is a peaceful painting, it isn't tainted by anything, it's so pure.

person B: I think likewise, this painting is too complicated, that it became blank because the painter doesn't want to paint it anymore."

-.L.-

2006-10-27T10:20:00.000+08:00

Whoopee dooo~ I am gonna watch Death Note soon =p hahaha...with Dajie and gang! Let's hoot till song song dah!~

Target: Harbby Fronto
Area: VivvoCitay
Destination: Cinneplexa
Show: Des Note

LOl... i'm going Bonkers...Honey Lin wants me to go Zouk~ Lol...i dunno leh maybe can go find her =p

-.Monday Monday.-

2006-10-24T12:05:00.000+08:00

"Devil's Choc Cake!!!"

"Family Portrait"

Well well well, school was short but still quite ok. After class, went to find Lefty to get a present for Eugene. Walked pass a new shop at Raffles Citylink...the skirt looks so cool! But it was OUT OF STOCK!! haiz...Then walked around Marina and stopped by dian xiao er to look for his sis =). Then went to taka to get some stuff...but the bag was out of stock! T_T Then went to look at a shirt...BUT IT WAS THE LAST PIECE!!! haiz... i really wanna ren ming liao....Shopping God isn't by my side huh~ T_T But i bought a denim skirt at last =D haha... nice nice nice =p then i wore it straight after i bought it -.- ||

Then we went to TCC for tea and cakes =) Haha...and started talking crap again! Grrr....after that went back home... and KOed!

"Ahhh...lame T_T"

-.Life is good.-

2006-10-22T15:07:00.000+08:00

"I spy with my teeny-weeny little eye..."

Through problems, you really get to see who your real friends are. Well, the past few days have been rather tiring and busy, weekends always perk me up. Well, after the report discussion on Friday, headed down to Bugis for Ice Monster with KC...the food there was great! Not to mention it's so fresh! Haha...after that we headed to the Arcade for Time Crisis...KC is pro la ok...my god i think first half of the stage i may not even be able to complete =x. But i had a great time that afternoon, then after that i had to go for work, such a long night because Sean had to attend to his family matters, but it is always fun to work with Mummy no. 2 Lol =x....and the event ended early hee...wanted to go for a drink on Sat with Lefty but i think it's impossible because it is a 4 day holiday for my work place and business resumes on Wednesday =(.

Well nonetheless, we went to Vivocity instead. The place is HUGE and PACKED. It's as though we are laboratory mice in a big big big cage. He was there first...and he bought chocolates muahaha...but he is so smart because he didn't buy water....instead he got F&N orange instead...talk about instant diabetes.... so we started walking all around and wanted to watch Deathnote....but when we got there...it was like...so many of the timeslots are sold out....so sad T_T...but nevermind that....and being a typical girl...yes...i headed STRAIGHT into F21 and got a top and a pair of earrings i wanted to get a necklace that looked like "L's" lettering but it came in "LK" so sad right! -.- and i saw this really chic top but ahhh it's out of stock! along the way we saw some gays and girls walking around and dancing...giving those "ah ah ah" sounds... gao wei lor LOl....then saw some sign-directing people....so funny....and some even DANCE! haha....it's rather happening because they have many mini activities! =p....then the shopping disease got the better of me and i started to head down to Zara and tried those HUGE, thick and chic manhatten coats...it looks so cool...but the price is a whooping $300 + HAIZ!!!
BUT NEVERMIND AGAIN! instead i got a Fila shoe bag and a pair of Fila Slippers =p haha...but over all its so fun...then i got another handphone accessory =x and i had poor Lefty to hold my stuff...awww thanks a lot ok? =P

After that we walked and walked, looking for Eugene's present...but it seems like we can't find any...so we went to Adidas...and Lefty spotted this really nice singlet and he went to try it out...he got an L size and tried it...when he came out...he told me it fitted just right...so i told him to ask the shop assistant if there were any bigger size....the shop assistant said "Oh that's a children's sized top" LOl....i can't stop laughing haha...but anyway...after that we headed for dinner....can you imagine after walking so many times... it seems like every restaurent had like still many long queues regardless of the time? I think this is so crazy....oh well...but we headed to Earle Swensen...and waited to be seated...meanwhile we were browsing through the menu...to realise that the selection is rather little =/ but we went ahead....and we got a great seat which was viewing the harbour and Sentosa! We had wanted to eat the fondue...BUT IT WAS OUT OF STOCK!!! haiz i think i need to admit defeat....fate HATES me to the core! LOL...but we had dinner and ice-cream that took so long to come...grrrr haha....but either way...dinner is still great....the food is good!

After that we took the train back and was listening to Lefty's mp3...he need to change his mp3! It's high time man....Lol...but either way then we realise that we were walking and listening the mp3 at the same time...we kinda felt idiotic LOL...then when we changed the MRT...it only reached till KRANJI!!!....haiz....fate REALLY HATES ME!...but then cab was fast...hehe... so i managed to be home rather early =)

Vivocity is great! I don't mind going back there again! haha...

PS: Lefty is so lame!

-.Reminisce.-

2006-10-19T21:06:00.000+08:00

Entertained only to be made a fool at the end...

After being made a fool, ended being left confused...

Somethings aren't meant to happen, yet it did...

There's just no more turning back...

It's even hard to do anything...

"Bianneh...kamsa bianneh..."

-.Doesn't matter anymore, does it?.-

2006-10-17T23:35:00.000+08:00

When everything comes to an end....it doesn't matter anymore, does it?

-.The Merchant of Venice.-

2006-10-16T22:51:00.000+08:00

Oooh....thoughts thoughts thoughts!...let's see...ok...it seems like last week or was it the week before last....hmmm....anyhow...it was some time ago, and yup i borrowed this modern-classic Shakespeare play which is rather popular...it's known as The Merchant of Venice =)

Woopee doo...this play brought back soo much memories....just thinking about it....haiz...i really miss those times....i really miss all my friends....who are all gone....haiz....it had so much impact in my life....i didn't expect it to be this deep...

Either how...the DVD was great! And i finally found out the ending of Shylock....goodness...he is really a very pitiful person...but then it was true that he did asked for it i mean in a way or another....he lost everything....half of his fortune....his daughter....and even his freedom and right to be a Jew....he had to become a Christian for your information...omg... and to imagine how much he HATED the Christians....

But just watching the scenes....in its classic and original Shakespeare language....we usually call it Old English...or Stage english....it's just so....memoriable....seems like yesterday i was part of the play....remembering how Vicknesh narrated his lines for Shylock.... ahh.....what memories =)

But seriously....i could even remember some of the lines! How freaky is that....oh well... i want more plays....T_T

Maybe next shall be....pride and prejudice....impromtu and lets see....bahh... i shall just grab them at the library =x haha...

"...Listening to the tune of Keane - Somewhere only we know..."

-.So high up...will you even walk up here?.-

2006-10-09T21:38:00.000+08:00

It's lonely being someone who different from the norm.
There's no one who understands your views, your philosophy.
There's no one who will be willing to walk to you side and sit beside you, and talking in the same manner as you.
Scholars are lonely people who know nothing but themselves.
Obviously they are selfish and stubborn as a bull.
But has anyone tried being in their shoes?
Of having too much knowledge of everything, of being able to anticipate others,
of being able to read people easily, of being able to manipulate others, of being able to create your own world.
Being smart is a burden. Too much intelligence will lead you to nowhere.
If only sitting down will allow me to see the world the way i want to, i will gladly give up my throne.
Being so high up, others just feel you are nothing more than a braggart, an arrogant person.
Oh didn't you know how lonely that is?
It wasn't my destiny to be up there, it was afterall instinct.
Its so high up here, will you wanna come up and join me?
Will you even be willing to walk this lonely path with me?
My vigilance is fragile....it's faltering....

"No matter how much i say....these words will always not be heard....it's just so tormenting..."

-.Huggies to friends.-

2006-10-08T01:07:00.000+08:00

Happy about the number of good friends i have...thanks for being there when i really needed something to lean on =). Still working...haiz....jiu ming can =(

"I don't know why...you are always on my mind...shit man...i'm fucking dead..."

-.Guo Huo.-

2006-10-07T16:19:00.000+08:00

Hmmm....whats there to write here....oh....ya... was doing noodles from 8 am yesterday...lesson was 11 am....so we rushed with the noodles....after which we rushed down to lesson...for only half an hour....kinda waste time if you ask me....after that....did 5 sensories in total....pretty hiong right Lol....chicken soup, fish soup, cheese curry, dajie's fishy and BEEF!

The beef sensory was so interesting....learnt alot of stuff...=) Wed i will get $20 for the sensory thing....well after which....don't know leh LOl...went back to school today with Yeany to do the shelf-life thing...the haze is so bad la....kns...but still we managed to finish the thing =) Seems like 90g of noodles became more than 90g....i don't know why...=/ but never mind...we finished everything le... so on Mon we just have to check the noodles =).

Last year of Poly....so fast.... i really didn't expect...how different it will be i thought it was going to be different from year 1....in fact... i don't know why my year 1 class has been...segregated..kinda sad if you ask me....but i wish those happy days were back again =)....

Life is as such...once you missed it....it's gone forever....i think its better to ai cuo then cuo guo....seems kinda weird right? haha....but i feel so many things have happened....sometimes i hope i could just help out....but i don't know why....i ain't so motivated as compared to when i was younger....maybe the cruel world has its binding effect on all of us....so much so we don't wanna think so much...

"I wish i knew what the hell i am doing...this is fate ma? I don't believe in it...haiz"

-.If....-

2006-10-06T00:07:00.000+08:00

If only things went my way....maybe things will be so different....
If only things turned my way....maybe it will be so different....
If only things are meant to be my way....maybe it would be so different....
If only things happen my way....maybe it could be so different....
If only things were this way....maybe it should be this different....

"So many things that i can't say....yet all these things are just tearing me apart.... if only i'm so void of these feelings....i should just walk away and don't bother....so what if i said it out? It will never happen the way i wish it would....i am always living in this stupid fairytale....which never end the way i anticipate....

Will you even understand....what is this kind of torment....its so selfish and self-inflicting....yet i don't know why i always get them....

I can only hold these hopes, fears and tears....and just leave silently....hoping it will ease the pain...."

-.And will it help?....-

2006-10-05T22:17:00.000+08:00

What a hectic Thursday....woke up late....overslept...haiz...and i had to part with my $10....because i didn't want to be late for practical...talk about monetary sacrifice. Then we did homogenization of coconut milk....pretty draggy process....but it was still completed nonetheless....then had an hour of lecture....i think the senior lecturers have so much humour despite their age....either way....lesson was so...i don't know...slow? LOl....ok...then we had Dajie's sensory...the fishies are so tasty =) But of course she is our great cook =p. Well...just hope that everyday is a happy day for her and everyone. =)

Argh...i am getting "spells" again. I don't know why. Why does it always happen to me like this? Stupid Stupid feeling man.....obviously....too many bad things more than good things....a sinner can never stop sinning....and no one will believe her either....haiz....misunderstood...

"It's so no meant to be...it's wishful thinking on my part"

-.Burgundy Couture.-

2006-10-04T18:05:00.000+08:00

Well well, went with Dajie and Fei fei to Tanjong Pagar for hair dying and highlights....guess what...its only $40....with 1 for 1....what a great deal....and we all ended up with almost the same colour...haha...friends united LOl...

Fyp ah fyp.... so sian of fyp....but no choice...need to do also haiz =(

"I didn't know why i liked someone i didn't like before....is it true that the longer u know each other the better the relationship?? Mei xiang dao....the person i had a little bit of feelings for is someone so opposite of me..."

-.Who are you?.-

2006-10-01T13:07:00.000+08:00

Meek, casted skies adorned the clouds.
It was seemingly in a modern setting.
Hints of grey, here and there.
I was bid farewell by my mother,
who sent me there.
It was a struggle,
just to get along.
Day by day, the people held hatred,
close to their hearts.
In their mind,
life is all about hate.
Always being bullied by a gang of guys,
there's always this other person,
a very special guy,
who's there to protect me no matter what.
I didn't know his name,
but he would always be there when i needed protection.
"I will always be there when you need someone, i'll protect you no matter what, no matter what."
Then we got separated.
But you told me you will come back for me...
till now...i don't even know your name?

"Would you turn around before you leave? could you at least tell me your name? i wish you are here, protecting me..."

-.The Bingung mama in me.-

2006-09-08T21:27:00.000+08:00

Ah...it's been a long while hasn't it?
Recently, many things happened.
From working real hard on the fyp,
to working,
to staying at home at watching K dramas.
After watching so many K dramas...
i finally realised...
i really don't have a clue what is love.
Songyi talked to me about his gf and him,
saying sorry that he was a jerk in the past.
Somehow or rather,
i didn't have any feelings already,
seemed like it was just a little nothing more that i should know.
How much is too much that you finally realised it is nothing more?
I really wonder...

-.Into the wacky world of KONG KONG.-

2006-08-31T18:07:00.000+08:00

Ok...to start things off...i had a major big F headache since yesterday morning till this morning...that's like the whole freaking day! Caused me to sacrifice an extra day to carry out the FYP....argh thousand apologies to my mentor LOl...who in fact kept me company the whole of this afternoon with this wacky, cute, horribly despicable game called KONG KONG!...Well if you guys dunno what the hell i am talking about...i refer you to a new online multiplayer racing + skill testing + adrenaline rushing game by asiasoft...yes people...go get it while there's still very people knowing about it...low probability of lagging...and own them like hell before they own you =p

Ok...so recently... there's nothing much to talk about...other than FYP, games, work, going out...FYP, games, work, going out....and the vicious cycle continues...sigh....when will i get to RELAX for GOOD....and yes...E.L.F. products are finally coming to Singapore from Vpost =D Can't wait...oooo i can't wait...will hand them to my lil fei fei when it arrives =p

"And the little memories of you have finally faded....encapsulated in a place
so deep and dark....never to be reopened...or found again...you have finally left my life for good...."

-.Coming closer.-

2006-08-29T13:42:00.000+08:00

I wish i could say those words...
Words that don't come by pretty often...
Yet those unspoken things....
Are often yet the simplest things....
Fading memories all long and forgotten....
Like autumn leaves dropped and fallen....
Maybe we aren't just looking well enough...
Visions being left and untouched....
Memories remain for years to come....
Hopefully by then we will learn our calm....

-.All the comfort in the world.-

2006-08-13T02:07:00.000+08:00

Wasn't prepared for anything like this,
maybe it's better if i didn't know,
thanks Lefty for being there,
listening to me,
even gave me a cute link.

Hoping tomorrow is a better day to study and concentrate.
Maybe its really fated ba,
it had to end this way.
But i hope it doesn't jeopardise what we had before.
After all, i wasn't even away and/or should i say never supposed to be aware of it?
So much deceit,
so much hurt,
can someone tell me why all this happen?

Maybe if you had the heart, you wouldn't even do anything, maybe we are separated by a mere word of mouth, yet we don't know that's the only thing that stands in our way, why are that heartless and blind people? Someone tell me why?

-.Last post before exams.-

2006-08-10T14:03:00.000+08:00

Happy NDP =) pic taken with my bro at the last NDP at the Kallang Stadium =D

NDP is over....yes...and i saw a familiar someone yesterday....i wonder if it is fate? Haha...oh well...anyway...been up with a new exercise regime as recommended by Satisyh really cool and i hope to achieve something out of it =)

Well i didn't know i had so many close friends who cared. Like Satisyh and Kw....i always thought they were the happy go lucky types....but when it comes to advice...they sure know the right ones to give me. Really glad to know them hehe...

-. Strawberry that aren't REAL Strawberry.-

2006-08-08T00:35:00.000+08:00

Today was the last quiz of the semester, for CSW, teamed with FY. Really hope that i can score well for this one. I need as many As as i can. I calculated that i get a B liao. Pls moderate nice nice...so that i can get an A =) Weeet!

Brought the stupid a maths textbook to my friend...my god its so heavy la...funniest of all i also give him 2 agar agar eggs. He msged me asked if i like strawberry...i was like still ok la...so he say ok good. Then after that before i left the mrt....when 3 of us were in the cabin...he passed me something... and said hope u like it... it was a lipice lip gloss...strawberry flavour....-.- ok i thought it was a box of strawberry or something. Haha....

Played dota just now...trashed the opposite side. Seems like he plays just as well as big dee man. Siao siao. Haha....just find that today the strawberry means something else...hahahahaha...

-.Of love...and forgivenes.-

2006-08-04T18:44:00.000+08:00

Well well, i am here once again. =) Blogging whilst working. So yeah...it's like a week more to the sem exams yet again. Oh bummer...=/ But well, it's pretty fast...this is my second last sem exams...before i grad for good...oh yes...that's how fast the poly life flies away.

So ya...what have i been up to recently? Well, other than having lots of spreeing (my new addiction =/), studying, mugging, working, sleep deficiency, going out more often with my family, what's left is my i-just-wanna-stay-at-home attitude, pretty much just as lifeless as Howard or even worse.

So ya...spreeing has been a recent hobby of mine, but DUH it needs lots of dubloons! And a whole lot of good eyes and catching of the best and latest products! Woopie doo!

Haha...oh well...so i have just finished cleaning up i think close to 100 bottles of wine?! How's that for crazy...? haha ok...so recently have been talking to Da jie Qw, Mh, sa sa and kw....really miss those times when we were still year 1...but either way...Peter just came haha... now i have pizza to eat...maybe i shen suan...suan dao he coming LOl...

Well... seems like people in love are also having problems...my bottomline...Ai qing nen dang fan chi ma? Shi pian ren de la...we are so young...please wake up la...Lol =x... sorry i don't believe in fairytales anymore...tested and proven...so i don't give a shit...to those who are finding love...my advice is...let love find you...cause most of the time...you tend to find the wrong type of love...it's a waste of time...and energy...more problems than bliss...get it? haha...not that i am being skeptical and pessimistic...but sg guys are just so disappointing can? Either they are flirtatious...or just really dumb in love or worst of all...disappointing in love...so what's the point...haha...i rather live on my own man...so many things life has to offer...not just love...and most of all...there's so many friends around...do you really think the love of your life will stay with u forever? Think again...

-.Motivation.-

2006-07-31T23:55:00.000+08:00

And so the days have come and gone. School suddenly seems to be a great place to hang out. Much better than outside, least to mention clubs. So what have we now...ahh...yes the exams and fyp. So now i am mugging for my GEMs quiz, hopefully i can do really really well this semester. I have the faith, i have the believe, i have the goal, i have the target. Now i need is motivation.

So ya... i am the Black mua ji aka hei she mua ji aka righty gemini...yup... i am the evil twin of Mr Gian...so funny right? haha...oh well...seems like the twins are in the same mess...hopefully we will tide through the rough times, we definitely deserve far better and more than what we have been through....i believe God is fair...so ya...we will see the light at the end of the tunnel....

Irksome lingering feeling still persists....i kinda hate it a lot...yet i can't seem to get rid of it all....argh....

Aja aja fighting~

-.Who's Dawn?.-

2006-07-30T13:02:00.000+08:00

-.Who's Dawn?-

I had this dream.
Of someone who came to find me.
Of someone who gave me a little gift.
He was sincere.
He was sweet.
But i don't know why.
I appeared startled.
When i received the gift from him.
He gave me a dog.
He was sweet.
He was nice.
I was mean.
Just like lice.
I only know one thing.
He's name is Dawn.
So when am i gonna meet this Dawn?

Someone please interpret my dream!?

Happy news

2006-07-23T21:24:00.000+08:00

-.Happy news.-

And finally the room is complete! I'm so proud of myself =) Hehehe....and now....jia you for exams!!!!

Happy friends!

I am Singaporean

2006-07-18T16:16:00.000+08:00

Time flies.
I'm now 19.
Studying at SP,
diploma in Chemistry.
Food is my specialization.
I speak english, japanese and cantonese,
but i learnt to swear in hokkien.
I'm loved and pampered by my parents,
and a brother who's kind and understanding.
Education here is stressful,
and it kinda sucks too.
I believe we pay too much for transport.
Even chicken rice costs $3 too.
But with my friends around me,
comfort is all around me.
I believe we have the right to blog,
what we think is right and wrong.
I love to read blogs,
i've even got my own.
Mr brown and Mr miyagi are my idols,
just like cowboy and kenny too.
I have a great life,
i'm hoping for my other generations too.
I am proud to be a Singaporean.
So say we all.

-.Oh the suikoden days.-

2006-07-13T01:22:00.000+08:00

We creep in through the night,
shadows drifting off in flight.
We take our daggers yes we do,
off to slit your throats through and through.

We are the assasins of the night,
with dark acanum by our side.
Sleep soundly while you can,
for death will be condemned.

We are from the Nether gate,
we are your death date.

-.If i had eyes.-

2006-07-08T19:58:00.000+08:00

Well well, it's been a gazillion years since i last blogged. Ok for a start. I can tell u that i am blogging while working...no seriously...it's no joke. Right now i am currently at work...with only me myself and my supervisor. There isn't any customer. Just a guy and his wife, collected his Kalleske Old Wine Grenache 04 and his Shiraz 04. Damn i could have sworn i nearly found them. Oh well =/

Well, life has been really fun. Played Suikoden 5. It's really interesting but complicated game. Irritating but true. Haha...anyhow...it sorta kills most of my time. Next is the more exiting topic that i am going to touch on. Some of you may know but i will keep ya all in suspense...ok...tee hee...see ya

-.Now i know better.-

2006-06-25T00:29:00.000+08:00

All guys are jerks,
i know better,
i see better now,
i was so dumb to trust you.
So fucking dumb.
Thanks...heaven for playing this silly game on me.
Now i know better.
I really do.

"And all my life, what i truly believed in was the only thing that truly disappointed me. Now i know better, you are just another jerk."

-.Expo moments.-

2006-06-24T02:39:00.000+08:00

So ya. This finally marks the end of the 4 day Expo work. Lots of memories to bring back. Lots of friends made. Of which one of them is a guy who refills drinks everyday and every other time when there's no more drinks. What a nice guy. Another was like a fatherly like guy, wouldn't mind calling him God-pa...he hopes to see me in the next Expo to come. Hopefully i will work that. Then the highlight was knowing this guy who is one of the in charge for the exhibit setting and all. 24 year old guy from KL. Looks very Jap. Ok looking. So ya we chatted and then slowly got to know each other. He asked for my number today. Which was surprising. Either way. Just a friend i guess.

Just so tiring. Wanna sleep.

"Days of passing by the place where i always met you and left you in the past...those little memories resided once again, the more i thought of why we ended up this way, the more i realised, loving someone was just so painful yet so blissful at the same time. I don't regret what happened, it's all in the past anyway. The other time i talked to you coldly, i didn't know how i should react either, but disappointment still resides in me, of what happened. You hurt me the most, yet i loved you the most. Either way...it's already past..."

-.Yi miao de an wei.-

2006-06-20T22:40:00.000+08:00

Why is everyone so troubled?
If not for money...it's love....if not for love...it's money...again and again and again....
Sometimes you just wish you can just getaway....runaway....don't ever come back...

"Going to where my heart wants me to..."

-.Perfection.-

2006-06-19T20:03:00.000+08:00

Just when you feel so jaded,
so numb,
so speechless,
you'd wanna see some stars,
hopefully it isn't cloudy,
it isn't raining,
that's all just to see the stars.

"Being sick is no joke....sianz"

-.Geh Deh Ji Guem.-

2006-06-18T01:29:00.000+08:00

Geudae jeeguhm nehgahsoom-eh doohluhwah sahrang-uhl mal hago eejyo

Kkoom-ee ahneegee-ruhl nah-neun gee-doh-haebwah-yo

Neh maum-ee jjakoo geudaerahn sarahm noh-jee-malrago hahneh-yo

Yohkshi-meul neh-rah-myuh bah-boh-kahteun mahl-eul hahneh-yo

Ooh-yun-hee dahgah-ohn geudae sahrang-ee whenjee nah-suhl-jee ahnhah-jyo

Hajeemahn yahksohk-dwen inn-yun-ee gee-eh sahrahng-ee dehl joohl mohl-raht-jyo

Johkoom hoo-myun geudae boh-neh-yah hahl-tendeh geuruhl jahshinee uhp-jyo.

Nah hoh-llo ee-don't geu-jahree-ruhl chajah ee-jeh doh-ah gahl poon-indae

Dang-yun-han ill-in-dae wheh mahm-ee ah-poo-jyo

Geu-dae wuhn-ha-dtun sahrang-eul cha-ja eejae dohlahkal bboon-in-deh

Haengbok-han geudae-ruhl oosoo-myuh boh-neh-yah hahl-ten-dae

Neh noon-eul boh-myuh sarang-eul mahl-hah-jyo soo-chyuh-gahn sahrang-ee-jee-mahn

Ee soon-gan nah-neun nuh-moo haengbok-hae-yo mahchi koom-eul koon gutd-chuhrum

Ee-jaeh-yah ahlrahsuhyo chuhoom-bootuh oo-rihn sahrang-hae-suh-dahneun guhl

Nah hoh-llo ee-don't geu-jahree-ruhl chahjah ee-jeh dohl-ah-gal bboon-een deh

Dangyun-hahn ill-iin deh whe mahm-ee ah-poo-jyo

Geudae wuhn-hah-dtun sahrang-eul chaja ee-jae dohrah gal bbon-eendeh

Haengbok-han geudae-reul ooh-soo-myuh bohnehyah haltendae.

Neh-geh sarang-eul joomyun ahndeh-na-yo, geu-dae jungmal ahndae-nayo.

Ee-jeh-nun geudae-reul ee-toh-rohk sarahng-ha-neun-deh

-.Love.-

2006-06-17T02:18:00.000+08:00

We made it through the rain.

Love love. =)

"Oh oh i have a hate club too!"

-.Fightin.-

2006-06-16T18:26:00.000+08:00

I believe we can pull through =)

"Shinjitte....tomodachi"

-.友情.-

2006-06-15T13:06:00.000+08:00

ﾈｾ短い幸福がそうなぜあるか

ﾈｾなぜ悲しさあるか

｢ﾂｵｬﾄ友情特別あり

私はちょうどすべてが申し分なくあることを望む

-.If i ain't got you.-

2006-06-15T03:15:00.000+08:00

If I Ain't Got You

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power yeah
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things Define what's within
And I've been there before

But that life's a bore
So full of the superficial
Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby

Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

Some people search for a fountain
The promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them
Hand me a world on a silver platter
And what good would it be?
With no one to share, with no one who truly cares for me

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, you, you

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby

Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you
If I ain't got you with me baby
Nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby

-.Myraids.-

2006-06-13T13:28:00.000+08:00

Would we know that there's an end to a rainbow til' you find it?
Would we know that there's something called instinct til' we know about it?

Would we know what is friendship til' we got let down?
Would we know what is right til' we do the wrong things?

Would we know what is a lie til' we did it?
Would we know what is care til' we disappoint someone?

Would we know what is hope til' we failed?
Would we know what is security til' we are in danger?

Would we know what is happiness til' we tasted bitterness?

Would we know what is love til' we got hurt?

So how would you know if what is going on is right or wrong?

Everything happens for a reason.

And since it happened.

It isn't anyone's fault.

It just happened.

Instead of trying to push the blame over past events.

Instead of feeling so terrible over what has happened.

Instead of quarreling and having even more strained feelings.

Why can't we just talk it out?

Why can't we just get along?

Why can't we just deal with it?

It's exhausting to everyone.

Everyone is tired.

So instead of letting this go on.

Why not let's just solve it?

So whoever read this,

please always remember,

quarrels don't make things better,

it doesn't steer the responsibilities,

neither does it help solve problems.

It just tires everyone even faster,

strains the relationship,

and NEVER make things better.

And, whatever that has happened,

it has happened already.

Racking up the past isn't helping,

so since it has happened,

just deal with that fact that it has happened.

Friends talk things out,

not blame,

not quarrel,

and not point fingers.

I hope you all understand what i am getting at.

I don't really know what happened.

But all i know is,

it's no one's fault.

So please.

I don't want to see our friendship strained and broken.

So i hope...all of you will understand...what my intentions are.

If you feel that i am talking crap,

you can choose to ignore me,

i will respect your decisions.

"Holding on to the faith, that we can pull through this tough phase....please give me strength...."

-.Un Myung.-

2006-06-12T22:18:00.000+08:00

Sarangul chalmoru gesseo
Ireoke tagaol choolnan molrasseo
Ne maum cho cheodoo sarang ap’eseo nun ne ddusde ro andwae
Iral chol arradeo ramyeon
Chumpoot’eo shijak hajido anhasseo
Pabo cheo reom i je waseo ya nan i nujun hoohenun hago isseo

Niga sarangi deji anhgilul pireosseo
No man un chardero ani gilul pireosseo
Neon sarangi anil geolrago soo do opshi narul sogyo wasseo
Chamshi su ch’yeo ganun in yeon igil paresseo
Ap’un sang cheo man nege namgyo chilt’enikka
Hajiman almyonseodo neo ye modun geoshi yogshimina
Cha ggoo sulp’eo jyo

Cheol motden shi seo i reo go
Kureoke shipke senggan hessa nunde
Eonjedun poo nun soo issul kkeorago nanmi teosseo nunde
Eo ddeoge nan heya harji eodiseo poo t’eogeo jal motoen geon ji
I sarangun pihe ya hanunde
Nimo dunge neomoo guri wojyo

Niga sarangi deji anhgilul pireosseo
No man un chardero ani gilul pireosseo
Neon sarangi anil geolrago soo do opshi narul sogyo wasseo
Chamshi su ch’yeo ganun in yeon igil paresseo
Ap’un sang cheo man nege namgyo chilt’enikka

Hajiman almyonseodo neo ye modun geoshi yogshimina
I jen neo ani myon a moo uimi onnunde
I je nado nalul eojolsuga onnunde
Neolul ji wa yameon handeo nun sashilnuri o nul do nal
Deo him dul ge hae

-.The Broken Portrait.-

2006-06-11T19:03:00.000+08:00

And so it stands alone and abandoned,
at a small and neglected corner.
The portrait or so it seems,
of a family without seams.
They looked so happy and wonderful,
but the happiness was just a thoughtful.
Behind the smiles,
was sadness all the while.

The melancholy of the family,
seemingly another irony.
Superficial was the care,
denial was the fare.
So what's left of the portrait?
Just sadness with a taint.

-.The day you realised i won't be home.-

2006-06-08T16:44:00.000+08:00

The glistening rays,
of the break of day.
The breeze ran past,
just so fast.
The gentleness of your eyes,
i wish there weren't any lies.
You turned around,
looking with a smile.

On the pastures we laid,
and then you said,
"I wish this weren't a dream,
or i'd cry and scream".
I looked back at you,
smiled at the silly you.
"I hope this is real,
you made it so surreal".

"The day you realised i won't come home...."

-.Yong Qi.-

2006-06-05T21:19:00.000+08:00

So ya. I did what i think i should have done yesterday. Which was a confession. But life is as such. Even though we can't get the things we want in life, at least we still have memories to treasure and cherish. I am really fortunate to know such a nice person like you. And yes everyone has their reasons and i respect your decision. Well don't worry about me ok =). You were the only one whom till now.....really made me feel so gan dong. Ya, you're a nice guy so i hope you will find the right girl for you =)

"Fighting~ =)...."

-.Eventful Friday....the start of the holidays.-

2006-06-03T14:57:00.000+08:00

So ya if was finally Friday and yes i felt that i have wasted my time studying for my stupid Fd Processing B Quiz....Pretty ok but i felt i could have done better, but oh well =/. Anyway, this is the horrible beginning of e-learning week, yup as you can see, i haven't started on my formal reports yet. Moreover....i don't know when am i going to do my FYP and worst of all, when am i going to work!? Omg....pretty sad...hoping that APMI will give me a generous job offer Lol =x

Moreover the holiday has also invited the GSS with it! Hehe...met Hua after class and ya we walked around ever since! From Far East To Isetan To Bugis and finally To Town!..It was a girls day out @ DXO and yeah the drinks were free flow and it was free entry =) And it was a day we had our heart to heart talk. Finally i have said all that i have to and so did the rest =)

Accessories galore! (Less than $9!!!)

Voodoo Dolls (original bikini! @$20 with padding!)

White semi covered heels (@ $23.90)

See i am one very happy girl =)

"Time will tell....we are all confused i guess"

-.Here without you.-

2006-06-01T22:44:00.000+08:00

A hundred days had made me older since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder and I don’t think I can look at this the same
But all the miles had separate
They disappeared now when I’m dreaming of your face

I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me

The miles just keep rolling as the people either way to say hello
I hear this life is overrated but I hope it gets better as we go

I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it’s all said and done
it get hard but it won’t take away my love

I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
but tonight girl it’s only you and me

"Assurance...that's just all i need....and i wish you were around... but i'm here without you..."

Stunt....

2006-05-31T22:05:00.000+08:00

I am too shocked for words now....2 stunt just came up....omg... if one of them is true...i'm dead....for sure....

"Then again i thought.... perhaps i should just runaway...."

Which baby are you?

2006-05-30T18:55:00.000+08:00

JANUARY BABY
Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth Stubborn.

FEBRUARY BABY
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstractIntelligent and clever. Changing personality Attractive. sexiest out of everyone. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions

MARCH BABY
Attractive personality. sexy. Affectionate Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.

APRIL BABY
Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer evryone up and or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and traveling. Systematic. hott but has brains.

MAY BABY
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards oppisite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited.

JUNE BABY
You've got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have an a very attractive partner. a wicked hottie. It is also more than likely that you have a massive record collection. You have a great choice in films, and>may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, you've got the looks for it

JULY BABY
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy at times. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends.

AUGUST BABY
Outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. no self control. kind hearted. self confidence. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. easy to get along with and talk to. has an "everything's peachy" attitude. likes talking and singing. loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be loved. hates studying. in need of "that someone". longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or restricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring. always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious. independent. strong willed. a fighter.

SEPTEMBER BABY
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.

OCTOBER BABY
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.

NOVEMBER BABY
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month.

DECEMBER BABY
This straight-up means ur the most good-looking person possible... better than all of these other months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. loves music. pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt.

So which one are you? =)

-.Qi Li Xiang .-

2006-05-30T18:36:00.000+08:00

Isn't this piglet just so cute!? ^^

Oh oh oh....these few days have been torturous and ya my headache season is coming back to haunt me. Well it's just 1 quiz left and 2 formal reports to rush before i get a short well deserved break, which i don't know how long it will last. Bintan trip is stated as 19th to 21st June, not sure if Mom would allow me to go =/

Well yesterday was a i-thought-short-day-but-in-the-end-a-long-day demonstration of noodle making, i mean't instant noodle! Wahaha....what an experience, and yup the person who was supposedly to brief us came only at 4 pm when we were there since 1 pm! And we even had "coffee" with our lecturer, part of being comfy in a part family ya. Then we got locked out of the factory -.- and we had to detour to get keys into the factory, how is convenience for that. Then i msged Mr Piggy, apparantly i made a noodle for him and i passed to him hehe...hope he liked it...=) Really sorry to trouble him to fetch me...really felt very very bad....

Today's quiz was not bad...i just hope i can get more As this semester and don't lose steam halfway....and ya i got stalked again! This time by 2 malay boys...who are around my age or maybe younger or dropouts....like heck i know...then one of them followed me into the lift...i knew he didn't stay around here cause he looks so unfamiliar la....then i don't know why....i felt so freaked out and quickly closed the door. By the way i had sleep overdose...tonight i might not be able to sleep!!! =(

Till then everyone take care =) and stay happy =)

"Shi ni ma? Hai shi wo hai zai shui meng zhong?..."

-.I wish i could cry.-

2006-05-27T01:12:00.000+08:00

Recently, there's just so many things wearing me out. With all the upcoming quizzes and all, the projects, formal reports and work. I wish i could just find a place, scream all the fucking burdens out and then go back to my normal life. It's all these fucking crap that i bottle up and hardly let go that make me wanna go find a high building to end my life. Screaming from inside, yet no one ever knows. Have you ever seen me scream? Seen me cry? Seen me laugh till i cry?

I hate all the fucking things you said. You make me so tired. Whether or not you did it intentionally or purposely, i just wanna say, i am fucking tired already. I don't fucking care if i screamed or whatever, i'm tired with every single fucking thing you do. I want to run away and never come back. Run to a place where i totally lose myself, and don't remember i have a home to run to. Faking a smile everyday, faking a gesture to show i am ok. Fuck you understand? I am fucking pissed now....forget having a friend like me....

-.I wish everyone happiness.-

2006-05-24T21:25:00.000+08:00

Well on Tues had a gems quiz, Mr Piggy actually gave me a morning msg to wake me up. So sweet huh~ Ya ya...anyway i hope i can scored well for it =)
Guess what...today i saw piggy in school! Finally at foodcourt 1! He say i am so fierce....kanasai then next time don't talk to you le. grrrrr.

Either way ya so today i went to Tekong! It's really fun and exciting. I thought it was a really horrible place. But it looks more like a chalet or secondary school like place. We even tried the shooting range (the IT type) and ate army food (yum yum). But the journey back home was crazy la from Expo to Bukit Gombak.

On the way back, concussed and also knocked my head...screw you gravity! Then while walking home, this guy approached me. At first i thought he lost his way or something, but you know what? He chu stunt! He say he wanna know me. Like eh... we only saw each other a glimpse. You know what he say? I think you are a very unique person, i would like to know you. Can i have your number? Hey you know what? I am too tired to entertain you. But fucking hell i told him i stayed around here and i am from SP. Shit. But ya. I told piggy and he say at least i am safe. Maybe i should have given him my number hor....make that dodo pig worry =x hahahaha...ya like he will...he won't de la....

PS: Gan dong...twice was 3 am...twice you called and msg me... =)