Friday, December 21, 2007
Yes...its sad. I'm hurt. Very hurt. But i can't blame anyone else but myself, for believing people too easily...for being so naive. I was in a position i didn't know would be so complicated. I do admit and feel, i'm innocent in this situation. Its because of 2 of them. I really have nothing to say.
Why is it that...everytime i give my heart out in one whole, i get them back in pieces?
Why is it that i can never find someone who wouldn't hurt me?
Is it because i'm just too nice?
Is it because i'm just so naive in your eyes?
What have i done to deserve all this?
Its stupid...i know i shouldn't feel this way....but i have hate... deep hate....but yet i know it will only cause me more pain...
I want to move on...i don't want to be so foolish in matters of the heart anymore. Forget it... i don't want anymore of it...
"I thought you were different....it turns out...you're just the same as the rest all of them..."Labels: Things i wish i could have said...
11:46 AM
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Wednesday: Rainy....cold....lonely....
Work is relatively ok...nothing much...but i have finally finished the trials....now its all the reports...and evaluations....
Been listening to this song...Sometimes when we touch....and So close....and everytime i listen....i will just tear....
"Wo zhen de hen xiang ni...zhen de hen xiang ni...."
10:36 PM
Monday, December 10, 2007
Monday....Day 1....
Too many mistakes have been made...
Too many broken promises...
Too many disappointments...
I was waiting...constantly waiting...waiting patiently...
Hoping that you would grow up sometimes...
Hoping that you would learn to be more understanding...
But...its finally over.... i think this is the breaking point....
I have to make a decision...1 month should be more than enough
"wo xiang shi zhe qu ba ni wang zi...shi zhe he bie ren zai yi qi...dan shi ni zhong shi hai zai wo de xing li...mei yi fen mei yi miao...dan shi...ni mei chi rang wo shi wang de shi hou...wo zhong shi hen xiang mo mo de li kai...."
11:49 AM
Friday, November 23, 2007
Sometimes i don't know if i'm lucky or not...to finally find someone who can really treat me nice...only to be rendered he might not be straight by my family....
I don't know why...i just feel this guilt everytime i see him...its blinding my feelings for him...and i think he felt it too... and god i think he was so disappointed that i didn't trust him at all...i feel very very bad...but i don't know how to comfort him at all...i'm so useless sometimes...and sometimes i hope that he won't like me anymore...even though i start to like him a little...sigh... vexing and frustrating...yet i can't do anything...i think he hates me now...sigh....just can't feel that initial connection that we had built up with so much difficulty...sigh... i feel like an idiot sometimes....but haiz...what can i do...
Zhi nen yi zhi ku....ku dao lei le...cai shui....zhen de hen xing ku...zhen de hen lei...Labels: Things i wish i could have said...
9:43 AM
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Yeah! Its gonna FINALLY be Friday....
This week is NOT GOOD AT ALL...
I realised...
1.) Nothing is going right with my work...
2.) I never say the right things...
What i can do?
1.) Do my best...
2.) Shut the hell up...
I must learn to...really be more aware of things EARLIER than it has happened...Labels: Fucked up shit...
8:35 PM
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
"Its all about getting used to..."
Damn tired...damn shag...damn exhausted...this week...although it is passing by fast...its getting more and more tiring everyday...
Have been doing sai kang for the entire week....and i have been thrown a project as well...maiden virgin project...
Nearly got killed by my boss...thankfully its all small things...but the thought that i NEVER seem to be able to do whatever she tells me right...is rather depressing... i don't know if its me or her...
I realised i'm very distracted...and dazed...i think i am so tired...
1 week... i think i will forget you slowly...I've already seen the song on your nick.... i think you have someone you like le...maybe i'm just another substitute...
Why am i always a substitute to you guys....why?!....am i really that worthless to you sometimes?....
You're all the same...all guys are jerks....i'm stupid....so stupid....to always be fooled again and again....
Labels: Things i wish i could have said...
8:28 PM
Monday, November 12, 2007
Back from my trip...i enjoyed it alot...but i still think of you everytime...
I don't know why...but everytime something happens...i would wonder "How i wish you were here..."
I may be a fool....i may have been cheated by you all the time...
How would i know? I won't know...
But...i know...there's no such thing as fairy tale love stories...
I've decided to leave for studies...i've decided to leave you...
This week...is a good time for me to try to forget you slowly...
They say...i shouldn't tell you anything...i think i should...but i just don't know how....
I can't even tell you...
I don't even know how...
"I miss you....a lot...but...i have to give this feelings up...i have to forget you....and avoid you slowly..."Labels: Things i wish i could have said...
11:33 PM
